Ahem.

So, I don't have photoshop. This was all done on paint. (hopefully that makes people be nicer about it. >_<)






quote by Linde, taken from here---> http://villesguitargrl.buzznet.com/user/journal/26904/guitar-world-linde-interview-january/

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!


HEARTKILLER!!!


http://www.myspace.com/heartagram



EeeeEEEEeeeEEEeeepppp!!!!!!


^___^

I am in a lot of fucking pain. I fell and hit a wooden chest on the sharp corner. I'm gonna have a huge bruise on my back, I'm pretty sure it is still bleeding, and I can't lift my arm. OW. And my head hurts. >_<

Just to make today better, our housekeeper is stealing from us. My bedroom light was on (I turned it off before we left), a bunch of drawers were open and gone thru, and over half of Danny's weed (medical! He has a card!) was dumped out and replaced with RICE. o_O How many ways can you spell FIRED?

Ugh. At least LA was fun. It was a perfect weekend until we got home. >_

>_<

But awesome-ness is galore.

Danny & I are in LA for thanksgiving to be with my Daddy & fam. (I've missed my sister so fucking much. I'm glad I get to spend the weekend with her!) We went to third street promenade tonight. Seriously need to re-consider letting people's stomachs decide when/where we go. LA + Black friday = not a happy me. But then we went to Daddy's studio so he could show off his new band. Naturally, I had to pee as soon as we got there, so I left my cigarettes w/ my hubby and went on a quest for the bathroom. And as I'm walking out, I hear a *CLICK!* Uh-oh. The door locked behind me, and requires a pass-code to get back in. >_< Now, we're in the music studio area of North Hollywood at 8pm on a friday. There's about 4 OTHER bands practicing somewhere in the building. After 20 minutes of just standing there wishing I had a smoke, my dad remembers that the door locks ppl out, and sends someone to go get me. >_< ugh.

But I got to see LilyBug, which makes up for everything. ^____^ And, Somewhere in Hollywood, HIM is recording their next album!!! (Well, they might be sleeping right now. but still. Eeep!) I'm this close to them, and can't do a damned thing about it. But it's closer than I've ever been, so I'm still excited. ^_^

...Well, at least I THINK that HIM is still here... I'm too tired to be sure.

Any-who. Going to bed now.
X)


<*insert sleepy sigh and hubby-huggles here*>

ugh. woke up today with my arm sore. i ignored it almost all day, till i had to go run some errands. while i was driving i was making a turn and my shoulder popped out of place. i am lucky that i can drive left handed, and that my husband taught me to drift a car, otherwise i'd be in the hospital. also lucky i was the only one in that particular intersection...

had to drive home with one hand and then have danny pop it back into place. ouch.

oh, and there's a sinkhole about a foot behind where i usually park my car, so now i have to park across my garage and hope noone decides to tow my car. they've tried to before. and the sinkhole showed up by my husband's foot going thru it. at least it was him [he has pretty good reflkexes and was able to catch himself] and not the 3 year old boy next door.


btw, am typing one handed also, so ignore the all lowercase/spelling. i just don't care enough to fix it.

^_^


It's been so nice here, for the first time in the 21 summers that I've spent in this crappy town.

It's been gloomy and overcast, the sun didn't dare show, it even rained! Twice! And the best part is that I am not the only one loving it. There are 6 crows who have taken up residence in my front yard. =) [Er, at least, the tree in front of my door. Wouldn't exactly call it a yard.... that's what I get for apartment living.]

I hope it stays like this for a while! I've been in such a better mood. =)

And, to top it off, my best friend is back from Nd- to STAY!!! she's officially moved back home. AAAAANNNNDDD!!! she's 5 and a half months pregnant! everyone is excited, now that she's no longer living on the streets of North Dakota. ^_^ (she also brought her boyfriend/baby's daddy back with her--I;m sooooo glad she upgraded from the loser she was married to before.)

Also! My baby sister is almost 1 now. That is SO weird to say out loud, btw.
Also also! My other bestie/sister is coming back from OR to visit for 3 WEEKS! ^_^
what sucks is that she will be here until 6 days before my b-day. Suckish. oh well. I'm just happy she's coming at all. ^_^



Ok, I'm off to go play in the rain.
^________^

I've been having a really stressful couple of weeks, and Danny's noticed. Hard not to, what with me being really grouchy and snapping at people.... >_< (Sorry, babe. I love you!)

So I woke up this morning to my wonderful hubby standing over me with a tray full of breakfast. <3 He doesn't ever cook- he's not really that good at it. But he tried, and he was so damn adorable. So I ate it anyway. And I've been in a relatively good mood all day. ♥

Really, I don't know how I made it without him.

How to Play:
1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2 - Go to "Random quotations"
http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
Use the last four or five words of the very last quote of the page as the title of your album.
3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4 - Put your Band Name and Album Title on your cover via some photo manipulator.
Picasa, Photobucket, Photoshop, etc etc etc.

Danny's mom's funeral was yesterday. He's really upset that he couldn't be there. I wish he could have, but we just don't have the money to fly him out to Texas.

On the plus side, he's re-connected with his sister over the last week. They were always close, but lost touch over the years. Now, our phone bill is going to be through the freaking roof. =)


On a different note, the same clumsy yet lovable husband of mine managed to sit on then step on my glasses two days ago. I needed a new prescription anyway. I have an appointment tomorrow.

Oh, and his 21st birthday is tomorrow. No one is expected to stay sober. <3

About 3 hours ago we got a phone call.

Danny's birth mother [yes, he was adopted] passed away this morning. She had cancer and died due to complications during a surgery to remove it, as far as I've heard.


Danny's so upset. He was actually really close to her-- his mom had never hidden from him that he was adopted. She was really understanding when he wanted to seek out his birth mother when he was about 10-11. She knew that he loved he, but he wanted to know who he was. He got to go and see her when he was about 12 and discovered that he has a half brother and half sister, who he loves dearly. He was really close to them all.

And when he got the news, his sister wanted to talk to him. She sounds exactly like her mother, so at first Danny thought that they were playing a really mean prank on him.

I feel so bad that I can't do anything to make it better. My mom had cancer a few years back, and every time that we talked about it he seemed comforted in the fact that she's fine now.
He never even told me that she was sick. He's so upset, and I have no idea what to do. I have no idea what to do or say to make a difference. I love him and I hate seeing him so... helpless.

His eyes have been glazed over for hours, like he's not really even here. I'm really worried that he'll snap out of reality for too long and just forget to... be.

I wish I just knew what to do.

[I know this is all just a babble-sorry. Everything is just a little crazy right now.]

Wow.

As of yesterday, I've been married for a year. That went by really fast. ♥

But I seriously doubt that we are going to have the money. Le Sigh.

Gaaaahhhh!!!

Short version- I'm fucked.
Danny had a major back surgery 2 months ago. Technically, he's not even supposed to be out of bed for another 3 weeks. Until he heals, we don't really have enough money to live on our own, so we're staying with his mom, who retired recently due to her open heart surgery and the problems it's been giving her. We'd been saving up some of the money that I was making, but I got laid off. (I provided daycare for my 7 month old sister. Since my dad got laid off, so did I, now that they don't have the money for daycare.)So I've been doing my best to find a decent paying job to somewhat support 3 people- because once the banks went to shit, so did my mother-in-law's retirement funds.


So Danny and I went over to the Department of Human Services today to see if we could get any help. Apparently, until we get pregnant, we're shit out of luck.

Now, we have no problem with getting pregnant- other than the obvious difficulty of his back (but hey, we're good at getting creative-we can get around that.) and the fact that we were trying for about 7 months before his surgery and got nothing. When we realized that he had to have surgery, we stopped trying. We realized that there's just no way in hell that we could afford a baby.

So, the short wersion of all that is that we don't have the money or medical insurance to have a baby, but in order to get help with the money and medical, we have to have a baby.

Don't you just fucking love California?


In our hearts love keeps sweet-talking to despair
And goes on sleepwalking past hope

Here's what you do:
1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the same just to bug them, since they've already seen it.

1. If someone says "is this okay?" you say,
Bleed- Private Line


2. How would you describe yourself?
Vnus- Uniklubi



3. What do you look for in a guy/girl?
Punk Rock Love- Casualties



4. How do you feel today?
Endless Love [616 Version]- HIM



5. What is your life's purpose?
Amarantine- Enya


6. What is your motto?
Morning After- Chester Bennington



7. What do your friends think of you?
The Kill- 30 Seconds To Mars(Isn't that lovely? >_<)


8. What do your parents think of you?
Para-Noir --Marilyn Manson


9. What do you think about very often?
We Are The Champions- Queen


10. What is 2 + 2?
Moonlight Sonata-- Beethoven


11. What do you think of your best friend?
Trippin'-- Kittie



12. What do you think of the person you like?
Pretty Rave Girl-- I am X-Ray [*Giggles*]


13. What is your life story?
The Bright Young Things--Marilyn Manson


14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
1-800-Out-Of-Nowhere ---Private Line


15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Bleed Like Me-- Garbage


16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Rich Girl-- Gwen Stefani


17. What will they play at your funeral?
Faith In The Devil--Wednesday 13 (lollololol)


18. What is your hobby/interest?
The Wedding March-- Queen (Isn't that one a few questions off? *giggle*)


19. What is your biggest fear?
The Curse-- Disturbed (Makes sense.)


20. What is your biggest secret?
Live And Let Die-- GnR


21. What do you think of your friends?
All That I'm Living For--Evanescence





And as an added bonus just to see what comes up:
What do I think of the results of this survey?
I Write Sins Not Tragedies-- Panic! At The Disco

In other words, we both did this one. ♥



If you just drank​ 15 beers​,​​​​​​​​ what you would​ be doing​?​​​​​​​​
d; I'd be passed out...
k: I'd be puking. I hate the taste of beer- I can't even get one down. Make it rum, then we'll talk.

If anyon​e came to your house​ on your "​​​​​​​​lazy days"​​​​​​​​,​​​​​​​​ what would​ you do?
d: What I'm doing now. Lay here like I'm supposed to and talk to them. >_<
k- hang out with them in my jammies instead of in my normal clothes...


Do you hate the last perso​n you kisse​d?​
No. Isn't that the point of being married? loving each other?


Looki​ng forwa​rd to anyth​ing?​​
D: WALKING out of the house... *sad face* I'm not allowed to for 3 more weeks.
K: Him walking again. Him being so frustrated is frustrating me...

What color​ shirt​ are you weari​ng?​​​​​​​​
:D Black
K: Green jammie shirt


Ever licke​d someo​ne'​​​​​​​​s cheek​ or foreh​ead?​​​​​
D: Maaaaybe... ^_^
K: He started it!

​
What do you carry​ with you at all times​?​
D: Duct tape!!!!! and a c-wrench!
K: ummm... my glasses and my wedding rings?


What happe​ned at 9:00 am today​?​​​​​​​​
D: uh I was sleeping...
K: Fuck if I know. I was passed out.


What is the last thing​ you got in troub​le for with your paren​ts?​
D: This morning. Something about the house not being clean even though I'm STUCK IN BED...
K: She yelled at me for that too, even tho I'm never home... As for my parents, that would be getting married to Danny. It's still a big deal to her.


Are you mean?​
D: No... I'm a good kitty!
K: I can be ....easily....;)


Do you care if peopl​e hate you for no reaso​n?​
D: Of course not.
K: no most people do. It only bothers me when they just come at me fighting when I just met them.



Perso​n you miss?​​​​​​
D: friends from camp
K: Joysies and Amber... =(


What was the last song you liste​ned to?
D: uuuummmmm.... My mermaid singing me to sleep. ♥
K: HIM- Under The Rose


Do you and your paren​ts get along​?​
D: Eh. Sometimes.
K: Mom-not so much. As in, no. As in, not a snowball's chance in Hell. Dad- yeah.


Do you want to tell someo​ne how you feel?​
D: yes. But I just did, so does it count?
K: ditto. I love you, husband creature! ^_^

Do you wish you never​ dated​ someo​ne you dated​?​​​​​​​
D:um, YEAH.
K: goddess, yes... >_<


What holid​ay is your birth​day close​st to?
D: Our wedding anniversary. The best one there is. ♥
K: 4th of July.

What is the best thing​ in your refri​gerat​or right​ now?
D: How the hell would I know? I'm not allowed out of bed. >___<
K:umm nothing...


How many diffe​rent thing​s did you drink​ today​?​
D: Coke, Dr. pepper, mt dew, water, milk...
K: Mountain Dew. Danny drank the last of the water... =P


How is your hair?​
D: Bedhead. it's from a week in bed.
K: Long and kinda tangled.


Do you think​ you'​​​​​​​​ve chang​ed over the past year?​
D: yes.
K: I don't know... Danny says I've changed for the best, but I don't see it...


Has a girl ever compl​iment​ed your hair?​
D: Yeah, and it's getting kinda annoying. She won't stop playing with it.
K: Yeah. People used to always play with it in high school. Apparantly, it's soft. o_O?


Who is the last perso​n to send you a messa​ge on MySpa​ce?​
D: Kali
K: Jessica


How old do you think​ you'​​​​​​​​ll be when you have kids?​​​​​​​​
D: uuummmmm. I don't even know if I can have them....
K: yeah. Hopefully in 3-4 years.


Do you think​ you'​​​​​​​​ll be marri​ed in 5 years​?​
D: I hope so!
K: *laughs* I damned well better be! *kisses Danny*


Are you waiti​ng for somet​hing?​
D: I WANT MY PRESENT!!! And I wanna be able to walk again!
K: lol Yeah, I'd like him to walk again. I'm not exactly fond of getting up every 2 minutes...


Were you happy​ when you woke up today​?​
D: No, I was in pain. =(
K: Am I ever?


If you could​ chang​e your eye color​,​​​​​​​​ would​ you?
D: No.
K: Yes, I want green eyes that don't need glasses. >_<


What are you liste​ning to at the momen​t?​
Both: the TV



What were you doing​ at 8 am this morni​ng?​​​
D: sleeping
K: Same thing as the 9am question.


Do you like to have long hair or short​ hair?​​​​​​​​
D: long!
K: Long

Do you want a diffe​rent hair style​?​​​​​​​
D: I want a hair style...
K: Yeah, I'm getting bored with mine.


What was the last thing​ you hid?
D: a christmas present. <3
K: Um, my boobs. He has a strange obsession with them...


What did you do this after​noon? ​
D: .............. I'm STUCK in BED. What is there to do>
K: Took care of my Kitty-Monster.


Does talki​ng about​ sex make you uncom​forta​ble?​
D: that depends on who's in the conversation. >;D
K: No. Unless it's with my parents. Again.

Did you pass Algeb​ra in high schoo​l?​​​​​​​​
D: I would have if I didn't have to show my work...
K: Yeah. It was easy.

Wow.
Ok, so I saw a piece of tape on Danny that looked like a bug, so I told him to stay still so I could get it off of him. He then started freaking out. I showed him the tape (after teasing him for a minute, of course. ♥)

Here's what he actually said when he realized it wasn't a real bug: "I don't like bugs crawling on me without my consent first."
Me: "You mean, they have to get written permission?"
Him:"Yes! From me and the World Bug Council!! Not just the World Bug Council, or they'll send all of them after me!"

I just about died laughing.

That's just how heavy his pain killers are. <3

If you'll excuse me just a moment...

Ahem. [*GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*]


Thank you.

Well, Danny had his surgery on Monday, and came home from the hospital Tuesday night. He's doing alright. He's constantly in extreme pain, despite the heavy duty pain killers. We had to move the bed downstairs to the living room, causing me to sleep on the couch next to him--I kick in my sleep and his back is really sensitive, so I can't sleep next to him. This is killing my back, and destroying my knee because of how I have to jump around just to get up.


To top things off, I'm getting depressed again. Yay. >_< for the last 5 years, I've had three best friends- Jello, Joy, and Amber. Well, Jello stopped talking to me about 2 years ago, because I'm "a bad influence" in her, just because she decided that she wanted to be a christian. Ok, that's bad, but I'll live, right?

Then Joy gets stuck in ND. As if being stuck with no money in a place where all she knows is her ex husband wasn't bad enough, now he's shut off her phone. So now there's really no way to get a hold of her.

Can't get worse, right? Today, I had to drop off Amber at the train station. She's now moved to Oregon to live with her fiancée because her dad kicked her out. If it were for something like getting in a fight with him, I'd understand. But he kicked her out because she is 18 and doesn't have her license, and has no desire to get one. She's in Oregon because she told him that she'd rather take the bus to wherever she needs to get, and that she doesn't feel safe behind the wheel of something that could kill people with a single second's worth of not paying close enough attention. Maybe it's just me, but isn't that more responsible of her? She never asks him for a ride anywhere. She's fine with taking the bus, and it sounds like a pretty valid phobia to me. I mean, hundreds of people don't have their license by choice, right?

So, yeah. I feel like shit. I can't do anything to help my husband, I just have to sit back and watch him be in pain.
I can't help Joy, I just have to sit back and hope that she's alright.
And I can't help Amber, I just have to sit back and watch her fight with her fiancée and hope she doesn't get stuck in Oregon.

Do you ever get the feeling that in your past life, you must have been Hitler? Or is that just me?